Springbok Conspiracies – Helping COSATU Expose The Rats.

COSATU wrote a banger yesterday, when they managed to solve the mystery  behind the current lackluster performance of the Springboks 2016 season. We feel rather stupid that we missed it, but luckily for the South African rugby public we have expert analysts such as COSATU who can unearth the current Springbok problems, bring it to light and then act swiftly upon it, in order to restore the pride of  Springbok rugby, Protea rugby.

Let us start by apologizing to our readers, for the misinformation and providing completely the wrong analysis over the past couple of weeks. It is important to note that:

We have largely blamed the Springboks poor performance on the reasons listed above…how wrong we were!

The Great Springbok Coup – Who Are The Traitors?

All this time the culprits behind South Africa’s poor showing in 2016 was a number of players, deliberately sabotaging the Springbok performance, in an evil plot to overthrow the current coaching regime. These players form part of an elitist club and according to COSATU call themselves , “The White Boys Club.”

Needless to say, we are enraged by the treasonous action of, “The White Boys Club” and in a bid to help our communist friends we thought we would conduct our own little investigation into this club, in the hope of exposing these traitors.

The easiest way to start our investigation would be by narrowing down the possible culprits. Firstly what are the requirements for joining the “White Boys Club?” Well, you have to be white…obviously, else the name just won’t stick. This essentially eliminates 40% of the team.

Secondly, the experts at COSATU refers to the players of “The White Boy Club” as “Old“, old, this in all likelihood means that these traitors are veteran players, bastards! Considering there are very few old, experienced players in the current Springbok setup, this eliminates about 70% of the team, which leaves us with:

Likely Culprits

Willie LeRoux

LeRoux grew up in Stellenbosch a hardcore Afrikaans community where he attended Paul Roos, hell this dutchman even speaks the language! LeRoux started his career in Freestate among the Boers where, in all likelihood they managed to radicalize him.  LeRoux is not familiar with Allister Coetzee and they share no relationship which we are aware of.

Sabotage Potential: LIKELY

Duane Vermeulen

RED ALERT: Vermeulen has been living in France for the past year. It is extremely likely that during his time in Europe, Vermeulen may have been recruited by some pro-apartheid figures in their attempt to overthrow the regime, much like the Americans are doing with their foreign exchange program with South African students and then planting these students back in the good ol’ republic as CIA spies. We suspect Vermeulen might even be the leader of “The White Boys Club” 

Sabotage Potential: SEVERE

Adriaan Strauss

RED ALERT: Has a cousin who plays for Ireland, started his career among the Free State Boers and then moved to the Bulls where he got even more radicalized. There is every possibility that Strauss could have relayed the Springbok tactics, or lack thereof, to his cousin who then could easily pass it on to the Irish coach. Clearly he puts the “agenda” in overthrowing the regime before the Springbok captaincy, if indeed he is guilty he should be hanged for this treasonous acts!

Sabotage Potential: SEVERE

Jean DeVilliers

Why is Jean DeVilliers on the sideline for every Springbok match? He undoubtedly has complete access to all the inner workings of the national team, and Coetzee places a lot of trust in him…this might be a huge mistake by Coetzee. It certainly won’t be surprising if DeVilliers was the founder of the “White Boys Club.” A spy on our very doorstep?

Sabotage Potential: SEVERE

Francois Louw

Louw, like Vermeulen has spent a number of years in Europe, and despite Allister Coetzee entrusting Louw with the Stormers captaincy, where he played some of the best rugby of his career, Louw has taken a sudden and intense disliking to Allister Coetzee, and will go out of his way to follow Vermeulen and the European agenda to sabotage The South African Rugby Union.

Sabotage Potential: LIKELY

NO You Idiots…COSATU The Real Racists

Cosatu, is short for Congress Of South African Trade Unions, they have absolutely NOTHING to do with rugby! They are experts alright, experts at:

  • provoking racial tension
  • organizing mass strikes & protests
  • Ruining the South African economy

Now that they have largely achieved the above, they are bored and trying to get their hands onto rugby, one of the very few semi-functional organizations which remains in South Africa.

It is a bloody disgrace that World Rugby (The IRB) has not yet stepped in to implement its own laws regarding racial discrimination in rugby! Here you have an official government entity, making statements on its official website, calling rugby players who have served South African Rugby for years “The old white Boysis this not racial stereotyping and discrimination at its purest form?

cosatu transformationWe ask that you read the email below, which will get sent straight to Tony Ehrenreich, who is the provincial secretary of COSATU & currently tasked with taking question regarding the statement issued on their website, world rugby will also be CC’ed in.

It ain’t about black or white, because we are all pink on the inside – The Sport Freak


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Side Note 1: 

The players mentioned above, are some of the best in the world, and we have no doubt whatsoever that they give their all whenever they step onto a rugby pitch!

Side Note 2: 

We will continuously knock on the door of World Rugby to take note about the racial discrimination currently happening in South African rugby. We have gained tremendous support in our drive to get South African rugby suspended, and we are currently working with an attorney who has offered his services free of charge. We will soon issue a statement on our recent petition to get South African rugby banned from international participation…watch this space!

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